Waking up in a Strangers Head

Fabulous Traveler, today I would like to tell you a special story, one that is quite different from what you’re used to hearing from me.

It’s a story that took place entirely in my head.

A Journey Through a Wandering Mind

This adventure took place during my first session of vipassana meditation; a meditation practice based on practical experience, completely free of any religious or ideological dogma

The exercise we were doing was called “Firm Determination”. For one hour, we had to remain in the same meditation position without moving in the slightest or opening our eyes. We were to focus on our bodily sensations and strive to be in the present moment and avoid getting lost in our memories or future hopes.

I promised myself I would stay with the exercise until the very end.

Confrontation with pain

A few minutes into the meditation, my ankles started to hurt from sitting cross-legged. My mind, used to constant comfort, wanted to abandon the exercise and change my posture.

Suddenly I realized the damage I had been doing to myself each time I gave in to instant gratification. I realized I couldn’t even face the most minor physical or mental obstacles. The slightest discomfort tempted me to abandon my promise, a mere whim lead me to give up on my commitments. Relentlessly, my mind tempted me to fail: “Why am I even doing this?”… “What’s the point in feeling pain?”…

It would have been so easy to get comfortable: “Adjust your feet and you’ll be so comfortable!” pleaded my mind.

But at what price?

The price would be incommensurable: I would be letting go of my last bastion of resistance against temptations and impulses. I would be following my desire to adjust my posture and look around, I would lose the only tool that allows me to withstand the many demands of my impulsive subconscious: The ability to forego instant gratification for greater happiness in the future.

The teacher had warned us of this obstacle beforehand: Since we were all beginners, we should expect some pain in our feet and back. But it would not be enough to simply ignore the pain, we must observe it taking place in our bodies, but detach our egos from the sensation. This was the only way we could resist passing sensations and short-lived impulses.

So, I continued to observe the physical sensations and keep telling myself that the discomfort is only temporary. For a few moments, I managed to simply observe the pain without feeling it. I observed it with equanimity, telling myself that the pain is merely a feeling in my body, destined to eventually fade away.

Suddenly, the pain subsided and then vanished completely.

Discipline and resisting pain

The goal of this meditation was not to look for pain or to try and enjoy it. Instead it was to realize that everything uncomfortable helps shape our character. The same concept applies when you are exercising and it hurts, but you continue regardless. When exercising, we have the freedom to stop whenever we feel pain. Or, we can persist and increase our tolerance for discomfort in our daily lives.

There is a study, mentioned in the book “Willpower”, where researchers made some high school students sit with an upright posture for two weeks. During this period, these students were much more disciplined and studious than the control group, which did not sit straight: Willpower is a muscle that affects our entire being.

Now back to the story...

Having conquered the pain, a different question entered my mind: “How are the people around me doing?”

Am I the only one in pain? Maybe I should open my eyes for just a second. Perhaps I’ll see that the others have already shifted and that I’m the only one resisting the temptation… that would surely mean that I can change my position…

I shook off the temptation, but suddenly I came to a new realization.

I rely on others for my courage and willpower. Had the others shown weakness, surely, I would have let go and been less strict with myself. But if the others had still been resisting, that would have motivated me on it’s own.

I realize that I’d always looked outside for motivation. I wanted to measure my own inner strength only in relation to others.

“Why am I doing this exercise, to show off for others?”, I asked myself. “Let them change their position, or let them sit still all night! But that doesn’t affect me, so it doesn’t concern me.”

What a distressing and revolutionary thought! Why had I always felt the need to compare myself to others? The confrontation with myself is the only thing that concerns me. I should draw my energy from own inner flame. I should feel tingling excitement all over my body, hear my heartbeat and feel my senses magnify, so much that I am consumed by the desire to reach my goal!

Confronting the mind

But meditation is not the time for remembering, I had to focus on the breath.

I was exasperated! My mind moved in every direction at once and I couldn’t catch up, couldn’t control it. These thoughts were forcing themselves on me, soundless images racing towards me, loud noises from all sides.

I was thinking about anything and everything except the one thing I was supposed to be focused on.

A third realization overcame me, and my entire body shuddered: This uncontrollable current of thoughts, this escaped beast the result of my impulsive actions. My habit of switching from one task to another, to start five projects at the same time, had made me unable to focus on one activity at a time. I had trained my mind to forget what it was thinking about as soon as a new, more interesting thought presented itself. Never had I focused on something with my whole being, all my senses, on just the activity in front of me.

Desperately, I tried to tell myself: “Focus! Focus!”

To my great surprise, this simple demand caused my mind to obey instantly. I managed to focus again, just like I had promised myself.

My attention wandered to the next day: “Focus!”, I told my conscious mind. Images from my daily life popped up in my head. “Focus!” My conscious mind regained the upper hand.

It turns out that this method has served me well since. In my daily life, whenever I find myself distracted, I simply order my mind to “Focus!”, and my conscious mind regains the upper hand.

Focus

You can apply this lesson whenever your mind seems to want to disobey.

If you have trouble focusing on the work in front of you, it’s because you haven’t trained your mind to completely focus on a single task without interruptions.

Try telling yourself aloud: “Focus!” This command will have a greater effect on your subconscious then simply wishing you could focus.

You can also keep a notebook by your side. Whenever a mind weed distracts you, write it down so you can attend to it once your work is finished.

Meanwhile, in the meditation room...

I had to come up with a new plan if I wanted to focus. So, I used a technique that had always helped with difficult tasks. I told myself that I probably had about 30 left, but in 10 minutes, i would only have 20 minutes to go, and in 20 minutes, only 10. That didn’t sound too bad. I only had to struggle for 20 minutes before it would easier.

Time shift, the time compression method

This method has also been used by David Blaine, the endurance magician who managed to hold his breath underwater for 17 minutes.

In his book “Willpower”, Roy Baumeister writes about one of Blaine's most difficult endeavors; the time he spent 36 hours encased in ice.

Blaine suffered from claustrophobia and began to shiver violently soon after he was encased. “I didn’t feel well at all, it was real torture. I looked through the glass and asked the person in front of me what time it was. He replied: ‘Two o’clock’. I told myself: ‘I have to hold on for eight more hours!’. Then I told myself that it can’t be too bad if I have only six more hours to go, I would just need to hold on for the next two hours. I often use this kind of time compression technique to change my perspective and succeed in my stunts.”

Often times, all we have to do to get through difficult tasks is to persuade our emotional mind to agree with our logical mind.

Which is exactly what I was trying to do during my meditation…

I was playing tricks on my mind, and it was doing the same to me.

I grew exhausted fending off so many mind weeds. I was completely absorbed in my own mental reality. I had forgotten my body entirely.

I wasn’t in the meditation room anymore.

I was on a battlefield at night, every part of my body being struck. No longer was I making plans to trick my mind into focusing. I had become a machine with one purpose: Repel the attacks and resist my mind…

When suddenly, I heard the sound of a war trumpet echoing through the night. But after a moment, I realized it was just a bell.

Confused at first, I realized the sound was signaling the end of the meditation session. The echoing reverberations announced my deliverance.

I opened my eyes, still slightly started, and discovered the meditation room around me.

I was worn out and totally exhausted, but transformed. In just one hour I had learned more than I thought possible in a year.

I had experimented and learned. I had witnessed all the tricks my mind could play on me, the ways it betrays me during my daily life.

It was the first time I had ever confront my mind openly. And the first time I had managed to beat it.

Lessons from the Journey

If you take away only one thing from this story, let it be that meditation is a way to explore and strengthen your self-discipline. Just as you would go to the gym to keep your muscles in good condition, you should take some time to keep your mind in good condition.

A study by Sara Lazar, a Neuroscientist at Harvard University, had participants meditate every day for 8 weeks. Throughout the study, the participants underwent MRI scans looking at their brains. The results were surprising to everyone, especially the researchers.

Mindfulness Meditation, such as vipassana meditation, rebuilds grey matter in the brain in as little as 8 weeks. The parts of the brain that control self relevance, learning, cognition, memory and emotional regulation, empathy, and compassion all grew. Meanwhile, the amygdala, which controls stress, anxiety, and fear, shrank.

This transformation of the mind leads to self-discipline. The ability to ignore fear and anxiety while regulating your emotions and remaining self aware. Are these not the pillars of self-discipline? Now, let’s get your brain in shape.

This Week’s Plan

We have a one-time action and a goal for you.

One Time Action: Build a Shrine

You sleep in your bed, you work at your desk, you eat at the dining table. Where do you meditate?

If you really want to make meditation a habit, you need a designated place to do it. A place where, once you enter, you feel calm and relaxed and can leave your troubles behind.

Find a place in your home where you want to build this shrine. You don’t need a full room, I built mine in the corner of my bedroom, right beside my bed.

Ideally, buy a meditation cushion and place it on a nice soft rug as I’ve done in my room. Get some nice incense and fill a pot with sand to burn them in. You can find all of these things on Amazon.

Your brain will associate the entire experience, the texture of the carpet, the smell of the incense, with the calm feeling of meditation and this will help form the habit. The more effort you put into creating this space, the better.

A warm and welcoming space to meditate will invite you to jump out of bed and start the day with an energizing meditation session.

Goal

For the next 14 days, as soon as you wake up, meditate.

Are you ready to start this journey of the mind?

Try to do this as soon as you wake up. We’ll add it to your Morning Ritual but you can go and move it as early as you can in your list of habits. When you first wake up, your mind is empty, and you haven’t started to think about the day ahead.

Before you’ve meditated, if any thoughts concerning the day ahead pop into your mind, expel them. Tell yourself “I can worry about that after I’ve given my brain a workout.” The more you practice meditation, the more you will be able to shape your mind and the easier it will be to enforce these morning sessions.

We have some 5 and 10 minute guided meditations in the Meditation section. Try those out to get a feel for meditation. Feel free to look for other guided meditations online after you’ve used ours enough.

Eventually you want to be able to meditate without a guide, simply exploring your own mind in silence. That’s the final aim of Fabulous: meditation without any guidance, anywhere.

Why are we Meditating?

Meditation is a very powerful tool we can use to train your mind, and more specifically, your self-discipline. When you take some time to practice meditation every day, you are growing the parts of your brain that control self-discipline just like a bodybuilder would grow his muscles.

As you start training your mind, remember to take it easy and meditate only 10-20 minutes at a time. But once a week, I recommend you try to meditate a little longer, 45 minutes to an hour. You’ll find these longer sessions are a whole different animal, both in difficulty during and in growth afterwards.

Discover some self discipline this next week! Talk to you soon.